If I had a nickel
“Till the days go by.”
Let’s talk about rejection. It’s a huge part of an actor’s life. So let’s talk about it.
I couldn’t count the number of times I didn’t book the job. Seriously, it happens almost daily. If I counted, it would make me sick. So instead, I focus on the opportunities I’ve had. I focus on how all of these auditions have only enriched my skills as a performer. This business is difficult. It can break you down. We all have our moments of feeling rejected, not good enough, crazy for choosing this profession, fill in the blank. What helps me is simply focusing on the work. I haven’t always been able to do that, but recently, I’d say in the last year or so, I’ve been actively working on just focusing on the work and leaving it there. Any opportunity, no matter how small, is still an opportunity to learn and to grow.
I was up for a really, really cool role a few months ago. I booked the reading, but then when it came time for the workshop a few months later, they had replaced me with another actress. Man, oh man did that sting. All I could think of was: What did I do wrong? Was I too fat, or too tall, or not vibrant enough, or too shy? Was my voice not good enough? Do they think I’m a terrible actor? What did I do? How can I make sure I don’t do it again? Why me?! Tears were shed, I promise you that. But then I got over it. And it’s going to happen again and again - as long as I’m in this business. So it’s in my best interest to train myself to not take rejection personally - to accept that it is simply a part of the business and that my past work speaks for what I’m capable of and my tenacity speaks for what I will eventually do. I realized that there are limits on what you can control and there’s peace in accepting those limitations.
Again, rejection isn’t easy. But it is manageable. Even when it hurts to your core. It’s not personal, it’s business.
The next time you get the boot, or simply don’t book the job, treat yourself to an ice cream, or a new book, or a date with a friend. Be gentle with yourself. You are precious, and beautiful, and talented. And it’s okay.
Cheers,
Adrienne
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